Now the stakes you run are high
i'm tired of running circles
around outdated mistakes
if I had been allowed
to be weaker as a child
around now I'd break
I mean severed in half
not your simple splinter or
fracture wrapped up in
a cast with a hall pass
and a marker for friends
to write notes and make you laugh
medicinal prescriptions
and elevated pillows
searching for the swisher
settle for a cigarillo
late night fix
out the bedroom window
all better for summer
bet you never batted under
or had to fight for what you wanted
now that ain't hard to handle
for me seeking advice is a
psychological battle
and it seems my parents fight by
leaping at my vitals
but I don't lose sleep
cause I escape into my music
friends think i'm strong
soon they'll realize i'm useless
suffocating underneath
roughly 20 years of
anger and stress i've
been trying to write off
soon i'm gonna bite off
more than I can swallow
and choke on my tomorrow
i'm feeling it, soon
everything is grey
i'm feeling out of tune
everything is grey

big family huh?
Oh the bottom child?
Lots of toys, lots of love?
That must have been nice
fuck you what makes you
think you understand my life?
There's a reason I don't leave
or sleep without a knife
as a kid under pillow gripped
a broken broom stick
or whatever I could get my
little hands on, as long as
I could sharpen the tip
had to be equipped
I grew up quick in fear
and no one but one sister
was every really near
once I got a clue
I stopped smiling as much
I still flinch since a fist
was the common touch
I still think twice cause
lies were called love
I still speak to paper
it was all that ever listened
alone in a full house
that's long distance
I still work hard
measured fight by persistence
I don't trust you
there natural resistance too
push
when you pull
this heart is heavy
and full